"I used to have a teacher, I was talking about it last night, but this guy was amazing. I should have felt sorry for him, but you know, and I was young, so I didn't. You know, kids are vicious. We couldn't be quite as indifferent in school when I was in Johannesburg growing up cause we would have been beaten. You know (whipping noises). Goddamnit.
No, but a Mr. (mumbles) something French. Anyway, we'd make noise in his class, and we had, I was in the class with a couple, you know, the hooligans. Anyway, um, and a, and he used to draw three circles on the board, he taught us chemistry, and he'd draw three circles on the board, and put both, two of his hands in one, and just beat his head against the chalkboard. 'I won't stop until you stop making noise!' You know, and we used to go (makes weird noises). We'd do that. (Noises like head cracking against board.) And eventually he'd turn around and look at us all, you know.
The rumor went around he ahd a plate in his head, but I think he was just bananas after teaching children, little boys for all those years. He was just like, over the edge. Ah man. Just sucks. Boy. Poor guy.
He fell down the stairs once with his hands in his pockets. And it was the worst thing, cause like, five good kids, you know. So then you find out who's good. I wasn't one of them, but five guys ran up, you know, to help him. He was going down as well. And he lke struggled, you know, cause you, you go on auto pilot, you know, and your body. Auto pilot was designed before we had pants, I think. So there was no pockets. So he's in his hands were in his pockets, he was like, you know, trying to get his hands out and then POOOOOOOOF. Face down, on the slate stairs outside. Miff. Right here on the bridge of his nose. He had a big band-aid for a long time. And everyday, then make it worse, and everyday we made a point of asking him what happened to his nose again. 'What happened to your nose again?' 'I fell.'"
Dave Matthews Band
Venue: Berkeley Community Theater
Location: Berkeley, CA