"Thank you for coming this evening. My hair is thinning, but it has been for a li-, about twenty-two years, so I think that's okay, right? And it's, it's receding, but you know what, and then I, then, then, then a part of me, part of me, um, thinks I need to try Rogaine. And that's cool because, you know, but. So wait a second! Hold up! Don't, don't, don't tell me! No, so uh, so, so uh, so I started...But the problem is not that I think that that, that, that, what, Minoxidil, not to be confused with Monistat-7, or any other number. Minoxidil. So many names! Um, uh, is that uh, is that, I, it's you have to do it all the time.

"This is a, this is a late-night friend of mine. I'd say hesitate to get to know him, but once you get to know him, then he's like one of those friends that you just can't get rid of. This is my friend Jack Daniels. He's a nice guy. I'm not pretending I'm swigging that shit out of the bottle, I'll point out that. I like mine with a little bit of ice, yeah. Nice summer daytime, maybe a mint julep or something.

"Looks like a big old boat over there, like a big cruise ship, but I don't think that's what it is. I think I'm trippin'! Bunch of drunk people on a boat over there. Like four thousand people, sailing across the ocean, getting drunk, right over there. Doing things they will regret for the rest of their lives right there, in the middle of the ocean."

"Not that uh, not that, not that I'm not uh, uh incredibly flattered (inaudible), and I love y'all too so, but, but I'll tell you what. But I was just thinking, I just, it's kind of a left field idea, but I was thinking, um, that, that. You know there's so much...You know like when you're making, when you're making love and then you're holdin' it back, and you're holdin' back, and you're holdin' back, and you're holdin' back, and you're holdin' back, and you're holdin' back, and you're holdin' back, and you're holdin' back, and you're holdin' back, and shit just gets better and better?

"So, anyway. What I was, what I was, 'cause I was reminded by the humiliation, and I think I might be the only person in the world that this has ever happened to. It's not a great story. It's a boring story, okay. It's not that good, but I'm telling it anyway.

"This is some serious shit. Some serious. We're not messing around here.

(from crowd) Stay still your face!

What? Stay still your f-...Stay still your face. Someone just told me to stay still my face. What does that mean?

"I was, I was wondering around up in the, up in the trees, around the paths here earlier today, and I came across three mounted policemen. And they said, and they said, 'Wanna ride?' And I said, 'Hell yes!' So I went for a ride! I'd like to thank them very much for (inaudible). That was a lot of fun. That was a big horse. And I had a big bat on the back of my saddle I could have biffed somebody on the head. 'Settle down!' Biff!

"Yeah. Hope everybody's enjoying...There's a...I, I, I can never quite make out what, what they're saying, but there's always like, at the quietest moment of a song, there's always some guy that's just real, real excited. I mean, there's...He could be angry, could be happy. I'm not sure. But he's just gotta, when everything's real quiet, you're hoping like, eh, you're hitting it now. You know it's like, errrm.

Dave: "Boyd Tinsley on the fiddle."

Carter: "Yeah B.T.!"

Dave: "That's Charlie. Charles! Tomorrow night, tomorrow night, the Thanksgiving week has it's second evening of fun and dancing with the Boyd Tinsley Band! Don't miss it."

"Who hit me in the balls with a yellow fish? You don't just throw a yellow fish at a man's balls. There's children in the room. Now settle down y'all. Throwing balls, stuff at a man's balls. Glad it wasn't a baseball, else we'd be postponing."